I’m a Marriage and Family Therapist, former missionary, and church planter. 

4.5 years into marriage, I realized that I was being abused. I had always known my husband’s treatment was wrong, but I didn’t know that it was abuse. At the time of that revelation, I scoured the internet and library, looking for resources about Christian women who were in verbally and emotionally abusive marriages. There was nothing. My internet searches only materialized articles on 1) Christians going through normal “difficulties” in their marriages and how they got through it and 2) how the Church doesn’t condone physical violence in marriage. I remember desperately wishing I could hear other people’s stories, in detail, about abuse in marriage. I needed to know if what I was living through was common, restorable, or if it would be ok for me to leave and be safe. 

4.5 years later, after a course of couples’ therapy, going to counseling school and becoming a marriage and family therapist, and doing years of individual therapy, I became strong enough to realize that God did not need or want me to stay in that abusive marriage. I wanted to chronicle my journey, not just as a place for me to heal, but also as a refuge for others who may be in the same situation I was 9 years ago. In order to do that, I’m intentionally remaining anonymous. It was the best way I could create a space to be brutally honest about what has happened, while also protecting my young children. 

I hope this place is not just a place where I learn how to pull myself back up and rise again, but also for you to do the same.